It is heartening to see that the last article on removing all ill will generated a lot of positive response. Along with that there were some requests to add more detail on how one can go about doing it. I myself am on a similar journey and need to find my way. Here is my attempt at charting a way to remove all ill will.
Change your limiting beliefs first
We hold many beliefs that drive us to be a rebel, fight, get into what is right and wrong and creates energy in us that creates ill will – whether visible or not – it starts pushing people and good away from us.
Here are few key limiting beliefs that need to be changed before you can remove any ill will:
• The other person is “wronging us” – in reality they are doing their best that they can, given their stage in personal growth. Your response to anything is your “response-ability”
• We are responsible for others happiness – universe gives us experiences so we can learn from them. Each person has to choose to learn from their own experiences and we cannot help them beyond minimal “my opinion” and beyond that any involvement creates energy that is disturbing for you and the other – however well intentioned it is
• I did not do anything wrong so why should I initiate “removing ill will” (they can come forward first) – wrong or right are your personaI interpretations and moreover any ill will you have will continue to burn you and be a roadblock in your growth. Do it for yourself.
• I can’t please them, what’s the point – removing ill will has nothing to do with agreeing to what others are asking. It is about “telling your truth” without any negative energy or emotions. It is not about giving others power over you. It is about your emotional freedom and cutting your negative karma.
Accept “what is – IS”
Accept that everything is perfect in big scheme of life and all life experiences are something we attracted for our soul’s growth. We can choose to accept and grow or understand that universe will keep sending us similar experiences – that’s just how the universe works
Drop All Defenses
When you meet a person who you feel has wronged you in the past, your natural response is a change in energy that is based in some element of fear. Fear-based emotions naturally evoke a defensive response – which automatically gives the energy of conflict to the other person. Drop all your past experiences of the person – be your natural self without any need to defend or justify yourself.
Drop All Expectations
Usually attempts to remove ill will fail as at a subconscious mind we have expectations of something or the other from the other person. These expectations do not have to be about tangible things, it could simply be you expect other to respond or forgive you. Understand that as much as you need to maintain your freedom to “tell and live your truth” you need to give “space and time” to the other person to do the same. Any goals or expectations will simply make the situation graver as it will be felt as a manipulative step – further increasing the ill will.
Apologize and Mean it
Instead of focusing on what the other person did, focus on your side of the equation. Identify when you lost your center/awareness and contributed to the ill will. These do not have to be things you physically or tangibly did, these could be instances when you had ill feelings – even if they were not communicated or acted upon.
By now you must be feeling that the above steps are hard, and what’s in it for me. The most important thing to remember in all this is that the end goal is that we are continuously defining who we are. And what better way than start being who you are now. None of the above steps take away from your growth; actually it is the foundation for it. We all are born as pure happy soul. Be happy and joyous during it all.
I leave you with an apt quote on the topic:
If you’re experiencing intense or odd energies and feelings right now, you’re not alone. There is a big shift occurring, and sensitive people are being highly affected. Now is the time to allow your inner light to shine as brightly as possible. How do you do this? By being your natural beautiful self, …, meditating, …, and focusing upon your blessings and gratitude. This world needs as much light as possible right now, and your light can make a huge positive difference. – Doreen Virtue