Our problems and immediate situations have a nagging habit of taking up all our energies. Many of us have a fighter mentality – a mentality of I need to learn to handle and fight my circumstances. This as I see it is a slippery slope and a never ending spiral where we get habituated to being a “survivor” and “creator”. Is there a way that is more powerful? What choice do we really have? Cope or Change the game?
Problem Focus is a black hole
Fighting a problem is not a positive capability. Being able to create positive results in a good environment is a positive capability. Let’s say that you have a bad boss who constantly drains your energy by demanding things a certain way which you don’t fundamentally agree with. What would most people do?
They will learn to adapt to his negative ways by learning to cope so that they don’t displease him and lose their job. Let’s say one does that for a year or two, what is the most likely outcome of this approach? All negative as far as I can see:
- most likely you will still be fired by that boss or a new boss in same company
- you would have significantly deteriorated capability as you spent years “adapting to dysfunctional environment”
- even if you did not adapt and just figured out a way to hang on, you have surely not done any real or best capability development while others in the world kept progressing
While a warrior is needed to protect, the warrior does not grow wheat or produce anything. Worst thing problems and problem focused thinking does is steal your time away from building positive capabilities. What we need to realize is that when all is said and done “a positive and happy life is created by our capability to add value and create positive outcomes”.
Even when you are facing adversity, always remember that you separate out time everyday to do something positive and creative in life. Make sure that problems are temporary and you need strength and skills to excel once good times come.
In the example above, even when you have a bad boss make sure you find time to develop your skills that make you marketable to other companies and / or new boss. That your capabilities make it imperative for you to be chosen for good future opportunities.
Never lose track of your intentions and related commitments to stay on track!