Trust is cornerstone of growth. We humans vacillate between not trusting anyone when we are hurt to being overly trusting everyone who gives us love and support. Knowing that trusting someone / others is important, it becomes important who we trust and how much. How to choose and decide who to trust?
Importance of trust
Whether we like it or not, human beings are social animals and need to interact and relate to others to achieve our full potential and happiness. Moreover, whether it is business or social life, trust is central to peace and progress. It is impossible to live a life where we can not trust anyone.
Trust is essentially the foundation of any relationship whether it be a huge business contract or marriage or important relationships like parent child relationship.
Your dreams are the focus
Even when we have a difficult period in life and our default focus may automatically become avoiding of some problem, it helps if we can have bigger positive dreams we can hold close to our heart. It may take time and effort everyday to just survive and keep our heads above water, even then bigger dreams become our source of energy and an anchor point.
If we do not have bigger dreams, after fighting daily battles we are likely to be drained. Without
dreams its likely that our life becomes a chain of avoiding problem and then just being OK.
When we deal with people, the central connecting point should be “the intent” of the relationship. The important question and observation the when selecting people to give our attention to becomes “how their intent align with, contribute to, and not take away from our dreams”.
Avoid relating with people who have undefined intent, or intent that is hidden. Even more dangerous are people who have “covert” or “ulterior” motives. When a person has alternative or hidden reason for doing something, especially when concealed or when differing from the stated or apparent reason, much energy is lost and many surprises may happen in the relationship.
Maintain a high level of awareness of your as well as others high level intent – that becomes the foundation of the trust in the relationship.
The only people worthy of trust are the ones who can consistently see and understand your dreams and can maintain an intent to be supportive of those dreams. Do not trust anyone who does not understand your dreams, whose intent is around something personal and who has history of manipulation and maneuvering the moment you start trusting them. PremAnand
Intent without courage is like an engine without any fuel – that just keeps stalling constantly. Of course any relationship is tested and that’s where courage of the parties come into play. Courage is an ability to have faith in the big picture and let go of our own immediate goals and also to “change our beliefs and habits” for the greater good of the relationship and the bigger vision the relationship exists for in the first place.
Courage is an ability to go beyond our immediate needs, impulses, fear, and take action without certainty.
When you know someone and the relationship is long term, it is important that you look at patterns of behavior. Does the person consistently show courage or do they consistently twist things or backup at critical juncture? Are they consistently able to be there, or are they there only when it suits them.
While people may explain, justify their particular actions, in the long run patterns do not lie.
In summary, Trust is the most important quality one can develop. To do so, one needs to be clear of one’s intent, be able to understand and align with others intent. Show courage in everyday action and build consistency that deepens and strengthens the relationships.