Many of us believe in being secretive about many aspects of our lives and who we are as a person. This not only applies to information or facts about us but even more so our feelings, emotions and beliefs. Surely, it is understandable why we do it – it is based on negative experiences of the information being misused against us or us being misrepresented. And really, why is it anyone’s business who we are!
Even in business setting, we find that CEOs, leaders and managers only give as much information as they see needed for doing the job to pacify employees concerns. Parents also teach the kids the specific subject at hand or give instructions to do what needs to be done.
While all of this “to the point”, “as needed basis” sharing may be justified, it is really a extremely myopic view driven by fear instead of love for creating vibrancy of relationships and empowering others. Now what if reversed out habit completely and worked on extreme goal of creating “Full Self Disclosure”. Yes, it sounds scary and meaningless but I have found it to be a life changing approach that magically helps us manifest our vision for life!
Clarity and Standards
First and foremost, having an attitude of self-disclosure, forces us to have clarity of what we stand for and believe in. Self disclosure creates a sense of responsibility in us as now we are “publicly defining our self image”. It starts the process of personal branding (not artificial but real) – of what we are, what we stand for and more importantly who we are not.
Just like public speaking, it scares the hell out of us initially but with clarity and practice it becomes natural part of who we are. Additionally, I bet people who believe in self-disclosure automatically have an advantage even in public speaking.
Consistency and Self Mastery
Self disclosure forces us to reflect on what we oppose, support or condone as that becomes part of reinforcing our self disclosure. I started this blog in December 2010 with an article which was all about self disclosure and since then each article was an exercise in iteratively expressing self, ideas and beliefs which in effect help in the process of unified self definition.
With self disclosure, the first and biggest benefit is the power of “self accountability” and constant questioning of any inconsistency or hypocrisy. All this built on the platform of increased humility and eagerness to learn and grow.
It also helps us progressively have higher standards for ourselves at the same time opens up our humanity allowing others to raise their standards in our presence and in their lives.
Trust and Empowerment
When we consistently practice self-disclosure, we create trust in our relationships. Everyone trusts public statements and positions that are consistent in what they are and also the ones aligned with our actions.
Moreover, when we disclose our intentions, preferences, and views others are empowered to take independent action. So instead of your child needing instructions, they get comfortable making decisions with the clarity that you bring about with self-disclosure.
Detraction and Attraction
When we are clear and consistent, people chose to relate with us, work with us, help us and more without our knowledge. If they do not feel comfortable with our thoughts and beliefs, they stay away – which in turn makes our life easier. If we are secretive than we are more likely to bring unaligned people in our lives.
Also are clarity and consistency has a way of making an impression even in on interaction. People can simply sense it and are attracted by it, creating stronger start to relationships.
I leave you with a powerful quote:
“There is only one sacred promise—and that is to tell and live your truth. All other promises are forfeitures of freedom, and that can never be sacred”
Neale Donald Walsch, Conversations with God