Many people consider compromise as a virtue. I have always felt that compromise usually resulted in weaker relationships and less joy for all concerned in the long run. A better approach is to focus on understanding the other person and make an effort to co-create a better reality for all involved.
Dynamics of Compromise
The dynamics many times is a compromise is sort by one party as a way of controlling a person, and imposing one’s will on another. Typically when one person compromises it leaves them unsatisfied and if it is usually one-sided and it leaves that person resentful over time. A compromise also hurts the “beneficiary” over time as they start believing that they can get away with manipulation and l control with the person who has compromised.
This combined dynamic will surely weaken any relationship.
Co-Creation
When the focus is on understanding each other, we open ourselves to co-creating possibilities that work for both parties involved. The power of “seeking to understand” many times results in outcomes which are better for both parties.
Even if the circumstances and choices are such that a better result is not possible for both parties, the effort spent in understanding results in avoiding a pattern where only one party compromises all the time. In a scenario like that a compromise does not feel like a compromise as both parties are understood and the compromises if at all needed are balanced.
All this strengthens and empowers the relationship.