At times, have you experienced a feeling of helpless and frustration when your hard work and dedication is all going to waste? A feeling that you are pushing against the wall and nothing is moving. In such a situation many of us become more resolute and try harder. What is really needed is better observation and reflection – instead of pushing on the wall with force, finding a door with insight.
Recognizing that Limiting Beliefs are operating
In expressing our gifts, fears have an effect of sapping our energy and paralyzing us from action. When we overcome our fears and make tremendous effort and still do not get desired outcomes, it leads to tremendous frustration and we can go back into fear. This is when we ought to consider the possibility that there may be a limiting belief(s) operating within us.
Limiting beliefs are like walls in the sense that – all our effort is producing no result – as if we are pushing against a wall. What we need to do is replace these limiting beliefs with empowering beliefs. The ones which act as a door to new possibilities, easier manifestation and expression of our dreams.
- frustration – that you are not getting what you deserve
- defensiveness – we have an intense tendency to defend our belief though our life is not showing desired results
- pattern of repetition – in various areas of our lives; with different people; different situations same patterns emerges
- intense need to chase – we feel we have to chase things and for what we want
- need to change others / system / society
- feeling of bad luck or that life is tough
- disconnect between our potential and reality
- joy is missing
Identifying the limiting beliefs
Once we realize we need to go inwards and reflect on our operating beliefs, we can identify the ones which are holding us back and either drop them or transform them into empowering belief.
To identify specific belief we need to go inside ourselves and reflect on all our beliefs. Find a quite place and when your mind is peaceful – just start writing down – “I believe…” and complete sentences like that as they come to you mind. Think of various areas of life and words and just write what comes to your mind. At this stage there should not be any analysis – this is just a pouring out. Here are some sample words and associated limiting beliefs I have seen around me:
Money – is the root of all evil; one has to work hard and make personal sacrifices for money
Success – is about having all the things you want; comes when you beat others
Love – one should do anything for love
Family – families happiness comes before my happiness
Trust – People can not be inherently trusted
Some more words that can be used in the exercise are: Ambition, Happiness, Loyalty, Passion, Faith, Friends, Soul mate, Career, Abundance, Hardwork and any similar word that comes to your mind.
Transforming the limiting beliefs
When we look at our list of beliefs we will realize we are strongly attached to some of them; though they may not be serving us. Moreover, it is likely that in some cases we have become the server, slave and defender of that belief. In that mode, we look for information to reinforce the belief and sure enough we will find the information. The question really then is “what is the value of a belief” that does not serve your greater good? Can you drop beliefs that clearly do not serve you?
After the questioning, you can either choose to drop a belief or even better replace it with an empowering one. So in case of money you can create a belief that – “Money comes easily to me when I express my talents”.
There are not many techniques to drop or transform beliefs; it is primarily dependent on our openness to change. It does require that we are in reflective state; that we drop righteousness and fear of judgement of others. We also need to have desire and faith to create a better life and will to drop our ego which is constantly compelling us to be “right” even though it comes at the cost of “being happy”.
Observe and manage your beliefs as much is lost in the chasm of the mind as the biggest battles between your dreams and turning them into reality are fought in your own mind.
Next two in the series of 5:
4. Transform your relating style
5. Build consistency and habits