When life throws us in a turmoil, our first tendency is to look for external reasons. When someone we relate with behaves in a way that is not expected we try to find external reasons for their behavior and sometimes outright blame them. We feel let down by life and people around us when things don’t go “our way” or “the way we think they are supposed to be”. To blame is futile and this emotional state is not only frustrating but also totally dis-empowering for us. In this state we can not create the magical life we want for us and others. Hence the first order of business when we feel hurt is to learn the practice and feeling of “Acceptance”.
Each is doing their best
When we feel we are wronged by other, first and foremost understanding we need to gain is that each one of us – regardless of how unreasonable we appear to each other, is doing their best. No one really wakes up in the morning and says to self – “I am going to screw up today”. We may not agree with their way of thinking but the truth is as much as we have a right to our opinions and living our life our way, every other person has the same right.
Furthermore, we always have a choice to relate or not relate with that person but it does not serve anyone to be judgmental and keep hammering on each other to change to suit the other. Live and let live – together or separately does not matter as much. Most frustration in life comes when we bind ourselves or others to each others expectations. Release yourself and others of expectations that do not serve us respectively.
Acts of god
Sometimes it is easier to accept others behavior but tougher to accept negative impact of natural calamities, accidents and natural or unnatural death of close ones. As hard as it sounds experiences good bad and ugly only comes to teach us a lesson for us to grow. If we reflect back on our past unfortunate situations we will realize in the end it has served us. The universe may appear to be brutal at times but the truth is, it is kind in the big scheme of things.
Of course when unfortunate situations strike, we go into a phase of denial and mourning and that is totally human. No not experience that would be inhuman. What matters is that we don’t start feeding the cycle of self pity and sympathy and move to a point where we can start seeing the lessons the universe may be intending for us to learn.
Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune. William James
About 5 years ago, a close friend of mine lost her husband when her daughters were young. After a period of mourning she started to see how she had to strong and be there for the kids. Also she realized that she had become overly workaholic and also emotionally dependent on her husband and had relegated her own dreams. When her husband passed away, she had to re-balance her life the sake of her children and in the process she also found her passion for training field. Today 5 years later, I see her and her kids leading a full filled and vibrant life that most of us would be envious of.
While many of us may be good at accepting others and unfortunate situations, we may be poor at accepting ourselves for who we are. Many of us carry guilt or insecurities about our weaknesses, deficiencies and our past failures. We may also not accept our inability to meet others (particularly loved ones) expectations of us. If we are to move forward in life, it is important that we also practice “self acceptance”.
Whatever our weaknesses and past failures, we only empower ourselves and create better life for us and others if accept ourselves for who we are. That includes building awareness towards our desires, our beliefs and knowing that being ourselves is the most fundamental right we have and that we afford to others around us.
There is only one sacred promise, and that is to tell and live your truth. All other promises are forfeitures of freedom, and that can never be sacred. For freedom is Who You Are. Neale Donald Walsch
Acceptance is Freedom to be happy
When we look at life – our primary goal of life is to be happy and happiness can exist only in acceptance. So when we learn to accept things and people as they are, we learn to be happy and create happiness around us even at times without doing anything or pleasing others. Accept others, your circumstances and yourself and you are well on your way to creating a beautiful life.