Human need for sharing and relating is very primal. We share and relate to connect with others but if we do not understand the nature of our tendencies around connecting, we are likely to create dependencies that are not healthy and negatively impact our relationships.
To understand our behavior in this space we need to go deep and be able to see our subconscious reasons for sharing and relating.
Are we relating and sharing with a goal in mind, or are we doing with a free flow of exchange of value that strengthens the relationship?
Are we consistently venting with a friend without really benefiting ourselves and draining our friend the process?
Are we sharing our gifts and joy with others or are we living off of their positive energy to feel better about ourselves?
Are we communicating with the purpose of “killing time” because we are not comfortable with our aloneness or are both coming out nourished after the interactions?
Are we sharing out of sheer joy of sharing with a person or are we sharing to get sympathy, or subtly manipulate or impress some idea about us on them?
In our sharing, is the energy flow always uni-directional where one always feels drained out and another just feel better for the moment?
All of these questions should not mean that at certain times we don’t take support of our loved ones. The key is balance in the relationship and avoidance of unhealthy dependence. In any relationship progressively both individuals should become more and more independent and then the relating becomes joy for all.
I leave with you a quote and a few questions.
Khalil Gibran says: “Be like two pillars that support the same roof, but don’t start possessing the other, leave the other independent. Support the same roof — that roof is love.”
Look at your patterns? Which patterns of sharing and relating would you change with who and how? Wouldn’t more conscious relating result in more joy and happiness for you and others? Please share your thoughts.