We all want to evolve and increase our awareness level so that we can create a better life for ourselves and people around us. So what stops us? Awareness is a personal quality independent of outside circumstances. Here are things I noticed in my interactions with friends (real life as well as social media ones) that has stopped them from increased awareness and taking forward actions to better their and others lives.
When we have negative experiences it is tempting to over generalize and not to go deeper and understand the cause and effect. We also prefer to generalize because it gives us an easy escape from taking responsibility of our share / contribution in making the situation what it is.
A simple example may help. A woman rushes into engagement (arranged) and soon enough into physical relationship with the man before marriage. When asked about the guy she talks about his job, pay, status etc proudly. A few months into the engagement the guy calls of the relationship. The woman kicks up a storm in many ways and acts like a victim and spreads the notion that “all guys are jerks”. Using this person and details as evidence to her stance. Regardless of how the other person is, and what the facts are – generalizing that all guys are jerks results in essentially two things: 1) the woman misses the opportunity to learn how she can relate better in future and 2) Her biased energy will push away all the good guys – further perpetuating her notion.
Buying into fear
We all have fears and how much we feed them how much they have grip on. Many fear being wrong – were we meant to be 100% right? Many fear losing something or someone – is it always really that bad when that happens or we make it that bad by how we perceive it and respond to the circumstances – if at all they do happen.
“Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself” – Franklin Roosevelt
There are only two reasons for fear: the thought of losing something we have; and the thought of not getting something we want. And they are both just thoughts, just stories we have invented! When we deeply and repeatedly test and discover that reality is always kinder than the stories we tell, we lose our ability to fear and we become as carefree in the lap of life as a child is in the lap of its mother. Nithya Shanti
False sense of responsibility
The biggest sense of false responsibility I ever had was that – “I was responsible for others happiness” – whether it be my parents, my spouse or even my children. We are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness. Happiness is a choice each person has to make for themselves. We can only be a support not the root source of happiness for them.
“There is only one sacred promise—and that is to tell and live your truth. All other promises are forfeitures of freedom, and that can never be sacred” – Page 210, Conversations with God, Neale Donald Walsch.
By not letting others face the natural consequences of their actions we hinder their growth – we make them believe their actions are right. On the other hand – by not taking false sense of responsibility for others happiness, we free them and ourselves to experience, learn and grow in our own ways – whether together or not – whether with each others support or not.
As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence actually liberates others. Marianne Williamson
Ignoring ones own feeling, needs and experience
Our feelings and emotions are biggest guide to increased awareness. Our needs are an indication of our true level of evolution – if we have no needs we have become enlightened and then all is great. The reality is there are very few rare individuals who are enlightened most of us are still human with needs that we are trying to meet, understand and hopefully grow beyond. But until we have truly grown beyond our needs, we have to act to meet them and evolve with the experiences that we create for ourselves. Not be in a shell ignoring our feelings and needs.
Dissonance comes in us, what we are made to believe and what our experience shows us is not in alignment. When we take “cookie cutter” answers given by others as the truth and our heart keeps murmuring that “this does not make sense” or “this does not feel right”. Listen to your heart – go engage with life – go experience life and then decide what is the truth only and only based on your experience.
I leave with you an inspiring quote for your inner journey:
The greatest adventure is not going to the moon,
the greatest adventure is going to your own innermost core.