You meet someone amazing. You hit it off on many interests, both are attracted to each other and have a strong feeling of “clicking” and “deep connection”. Feel like we look at the world the same way and have world view. Both of like to spend time doing similar things.
Now your mind takes over as you wonder – “am I obsessing over her, lusting for her, and what seems like falling for her”, “am I going to fast”, “will this last beyond the initial euphoria”, “does love at first sight – or few amazing dates really happen”.
How do I know whether this is obsession / infatuation / lust / love?
Its not about time or even compatibility on interests – it’s about your predominant feelings
Obsession: Is like “I have to have her”, ” I need her to feel better about myself”, “my happiness depends on her”, “can’t be peaceful without her”
Infatuation: “Wow Isn’t she smart, pretty, amazing”, “Isn’t that cute how she does…”, “I am impressed by her…”
Lust: “Can’t take my eyes off … ” , “Why waste time talking or listening”
Love: “I can conquer the world” or even better “She brings out the best of me I did not even know”, “we can communicate deeply even in most conflicting or difficult situations”. “would love walking in rain with her”
When you are in love the other person becomes a magical mirror for your growth. Here’s a poem I wrote when I fell in love:
Wish I could have a magical mirror,
One which reflects back the true me
The good, the bad and the ugly,
But mostly the beauty that lies within
A mirror which is not jaded with time
One which does not distort based on opinions
While it surely shows the blemishes
But does not forget to reflect the inner beauty
One which shows me who I can be
and reassures that it is ok to be amazing
one which sees beyond the dust of time
at the innocence of the childhood left behind
one that looks beyond today’s sorrows
at the hope of the spirit alive
one which does not laugh at spontaneity
but does not preach artificial gaiety
one that shows me confidence when I am in doubt
and reality when I am blind to my own desire
slowly nudging me to myself
without a even a sense of change
wish I could have such magical mirror
could you please ask your eyes if they would oblige.
PS: Poem not to be shared.