Try and try until you succeed is an adage which has probably done more bad than good. People keep chasing the elusive stock market windfalls or the lover who is not responding or keep trying harder at a job that does not suit them. They do all this because they have been conditioned to “try harder”.
My question is simple why not wise up and move on or at least have a clearly different approach? Every day I see people try harder and not get anywhere. In today’s world it is not how hard you try it how well you understand the dynamics of what you are dealing with and how you handle those.
A fighting spouse is not going to suddenly change because you are extra nice or go out of your way to please them. A boss is not going to give you a raise because you are the first one to come and last one to leave. Each scenario has different leverage areas that need to be understood before any effort is applied. If the effort is then applied at the right point not much effort may be required.
Many a times it’s not even any effort and it may be a simple change in your perspective and how you look at the situation. May be all the fighting spouse needs is a little space and you keep on trying harder. May be the boss really needs you to improve communications and prioritize better and leave early and you just keep trying harder. Forget trying harder. Try being observant instead and do the right things that make a difference instead of trying harder with the same old methods.
Now even if your new approaches don’t work, be smart to know when to move on. There is no virtue in hanging onto a losing stock when you can move out and look at better opportunity. Even in personal relations (except when it comes to your kids) there is no virtue on hanging on to a dead-end relationship in blind hope that something will work if you try harder.
Be smarter and then move on!