I have been called arrogant many times and I kept wondering if I really was that arrogant or rigid? How do I figure this out? I have varied experiences, where I have been also considered deeply loving, caring and humble too. Can I really be so split in personality or is there something else at play here? May be this is a matter of definition that people apply as to what is arrogance.
When I split my experiences and feedback from people, I realized that they f ell into two buckets based on the fundamental value alignment between me and the individuals in the situation. Invariably what I did was considered arrogant by individuals who fundamentally had a different belief system on matter at hand as well as at a broad level. And conversely my actions were completely accepted by people with whom my value system aligned.
Here are the lessons that I see from these reflections:
• If I don’t act as you please – I am not arrogant
• If I expect others to act as I please – I am arrogant
• Arrogance is not a matter of agreeing or obeying – It is a matter of respecting others individuals right to live their life as they please – however much ever we dislike it
So what is humility – in the end it will serve us more to focus on that:
• Allowing others to be as they please
• Respecting your right to be “you” and having the courage to be “you” without fear of others judgment
• Not having ill will towards others; not harboring the feeling of ill will towards anyone or the universe
• Understanding that we are after all not that important in big scheme of thing yet being ourselves is our utmost spiritual duty
I leave you with a short and simple quote: